Hello! I’m back with another post to finish off the year strong and be mentally prepared for 2018. I have to admit, 2017 was a challenging year for me. There were several incidents that nearly had me throwing the towel and reverting to an unhealthy mindset. Those moments turned out to be blessings in disguise as I finally decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and took charge on my health and fitness journey.
What Went Wrong
- Became overly obsessed with MyFitnessPal
- Developed an unhealthy relationship with food
- Overtrained to the point where I was constantly stressed out
First of all, I’m not saying that calorie-counting apps are evil, nor am I hating on people who swear by them. I’ve heard a lot of people who’ve had seen good progress in their weight-lose journey by using MyFitnessPal, but personally, the app had a negative impact on my mental health, to say the least.
At first, things were really great. I ate a pretty balanced diet and exercised consistently. About three months later, I have to admit that I became incredibly obsessed with the numbers — how many grams of carbs, protein and fat I’m allowed to eat in a day, how many calories I burned by working out, and even how much I could eat during cheat days.
It went on until I had a complete breakdown in October, when all I felt was guilt and shame. I knew I had developed a disordered eating habit, where I would eat super super clean during the week, then binged on cakes, ice-cream, and everything sugary on weekends. It was a vicious cycle which affected my mood, personality, and motivation to get up in the morning.
What Went Great
- Completed my first half-marathon
- Solo trip to Melbourne, Australia
- Deleted MyFitnessPal
- Stopped weighing myself
- Subscribed to Guavapass
- Started meditating & intuitive eating
- Won a pair of Nike shoes and tee shirt (post coming soon)
- Won RM1200 worth of goodies at an event (post coming soon)
- Interacted with positive people, both offline and online
In December, I made a conscious decision to delete MyFitnessPal from my phone and started listening to my body. I stopped comparing myself with girls who constantly post workout videos and subtle fit-shaming captions on social media. I got rid of my body scale and rested (instead of forcing myself to work out) whenever I felt tired or sore. I also started following accounts that promote body positivity and self-care, such as Kelly U.
Around the same time, I rediscovered yoga and Headspace to help overcome my anxiety and insomnia. I tried to mediate for at least 10 minutes each day, but most weeks I only managed 4 or 5 times. Despite my inconsistency, meditation did reduce a lot of self-sabotaging thoughts that were keeping me up at night.
I also started using Guavapass, which is an app that lets you go to various fitness studios in Kuala Lumpur (and several countries) at a reasonably-priced monthly rate. The package I chose was 10 classes for RM150, and it’s one of the best investments I made this year. Thanks to all the wonderful trainers and trainees I encountered in those classes, my mindset shifted from needing to exercise to fit into a certain size to wanting to enjoy a fun time working out.
There were many more exciting things that happened within this month alone, which will be posted on this blog within the next few weeks. I just want to post this one as soon as I can as it’s still fresh in my mind. I also hope that my experience will inspire and motivate you to keep going, even when life seems bleak at the moment.